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I had been feeling so good the past month or so that I didn’t know what to write about in my blog. I even started questioning if I had ever felt sick to begin with. Maybe I had made it all up in my head. Or maybe the doctors got it wrong and it was all just a fluke. Then the stomach pain and blood in my stool returned and I was reminded – no, this isn’t something that is going to go away forever

I had to go back on Canasa last week. I picked up the prescription from CVS and just stared at the package. I felt so sick and bloated already that the thought of having to use this medicine again made me want to cry. I knew it could be so much worse, but in that moment I felt bad for myself. The first night Ryan tried to make light of the situation and joked around when I had to use my “butt medicine”. I didn’t find it funny. Still in self-pity mode I felt disgusting and not in the mood to joke. I’m over that feeling now though. Yes. I’m using the “butt medicine” again and I guess it’s just going to have to be funny.

Again, I think I am to blame for this new flair up. Feeling so good I started to let my diet slip. I was falling off the veganish wagon more and more often. My will power to resist the occasional hamburger was dwindling each passing week. I’ve been trying to cook more at home lately to help me stay on track with the diet. Thank goodness for Pinterest and all the recipes I have found there. Here’s my Vegan Cooking board on Pinterest. This week I made the Butternut Squash and Chickpea Stew and the Crockpot Minestrone Soup. I really enjoyed the soup but Ryan really liked the stew, so you should make both and see which one you like best 🙂

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Remember when I said I could do anything for 21 days? Well that was a lie. I lasted a week with the online meditation challenge. I’ve realized I need more structure in the beginning if I am really going to get into meditation. So, I’ve signed up with a friend to take a six-week meditation class through Brookline Adult & Community Education. I’ve been once and truthfully I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. I have another class this Wednesday so hopefully I’ll be able to better judge what I will be getting out of this class then.

So here it goes. Another shot at this new lifestyle I’m trying to adapt into my life to stay healthy. I am sure there will be more slips in the future, but I’ll get there eventually.

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